RATSA/OLTL - Ask FOC Dorothy Three



	FOC Dorothy sez: Before I get into answering all the e-mail I've let back up over the holiday weekend, I'd like to take a moment to thank everyone who came to the First Annual FOC Dorothy Unlimited company picnic this Memorial Day. I'm glad everyone had a good time and that Mandi in Image Making, Angela in Psychobabble Transcribing and Abigail in Red Slippers Maintenance remembered the "stop, drop and roll" fire-smothering technique when poor Roger's cast started flaming up. That should teach him to get too close to open-pit barbecues. Thanks to RJ, who's recuperating at our apartment, everyone kicked up their heels to the smooth sounds of a hip jazz band. RJ and I got especially groovy later on, but that's none of your business. So let's get to the letters... Dorothy: Your father and I were married this past week. We're sorry (he is, anyway) you couldn't be there to share in the joy and outright hastiness that was our wedding. As your stepmother, I remind you that our door is always open to you -- provided you stop hypnotizing my mirror into answering "Certainly not you, you old hag" when I ask it who's the fairest in the land. doriancramerrenaldicallisonvickershayes@melador.org Dorian: My father must have been on a real bender when you went in for the kill -- I mean, convinced him to marry you. Suffice it to say that I'm less than happy about this whole...sham of a wedding. And last night, when my ouija board flew out of my hands and bounced off Roger's cast, I knew Mom wasn't too thrilled, either. If Dad starts hanging out in graveyards or anything, look out. By the way, some guy named David Vickers gave me a call the other day and asked if your checking account was still with The First Bank Of Llantano County. I told him to the best of my knowledge it was and it wouldn't be too tough for him to access your records if he has a PC. That perked him right up. Was he a friend, an ex-husband or just some former one-night stand of yours? Dear Dorothy: Once upon a time, in a section of Llanview far, far away from where all the action happens now, we were residents of Angel Square. As was mostly Latino, with some other "minorities" hangin' around. Back in the day, we had block parties, street festivals and -- get 'dis -- actual storylines with interesting plots. Now, unless Antonio Vega comes back to visit his Mami at Navidad, we ain't around much. And we don't know what happened to our homie, Cristian. Or that kid, Eli, y'knowI'msayin'? Te amo, Eddie Velasquez Linda Soto Benny, Mickey and Officer Emilio losmuertos@ascommunitycenter.org P.S. Linda says if you ever need any makeup or dating tips, just ask. She'd like to take you shopping some time, if that's cool. Dear AS gang: Gee, I thought my situation was lousy, but you guys lost your whole community. For some reason, no one ever thought to let me work in the Community Center, even though I'm a social worker. Hmmm. Whatever. Anyway, I'm here for you and now, even RJ feels a pang of sympathy for all of you. Right now, RJ's feeling "other" pangs in weird places so I have to tend to his, um, needs. Tell Linda I'm all for shopping, as long as we go someplace tasteful. Closing thoughts from FOC Dorothy: "Well, I thought I'd get to a lot more letters this week but I don't see that happening. But next week, I plan to...RJ, not now...Can't you I'm busy?...Wait...What are you doing with your dreads?...oh, wow...What's that?...No...No, I'm not familiar with "improvisational technique".. What do you mean, it's time for a "jam session"?...I don't get it...Um...Okay, I see...Oh, that's really nice...Yes, do that again...." Posted to rec.arts.tv.soaps.abc May 27, 1998 FOC Dorothy is Mandi (mandia@earthlink.net ) Copyright info